The homoerotic adventures of two gay ninjas part 14
by Narutofan229
Summary: The highly anticipated return of my epic saga. This time, in this high octane murder mystery story we follow a young Sasuke through the dark slimy streets of Konoha on an exciting journey to find out what happened to the love of his life. Grab some popcorn, sit your ass down and get ready to read the story of your life!
1. Chapter 1

The homoerotic adventures of two gay ninjas part 14: "But I poop from there"

Naruto was sitting comfortably in his favourite chair pondering just what that passionate kiss with Sasuke really ment. Was it a mere exchange of saliva between two mammals or was it perhaps a desperate cry from a passionate lover, aching, yarning, SCREAMING "Take me here under the moonlight. Take me like no man has taken me, make me forget about my overly stereotypical clothing and two dimensional character, because for whatever reason, these gay fanfiction writers choose to make me more about my sexuality than anything else!" As Naruto continued to search his scrambled mess of a brain for an answer a soft knock fell down upon his door. It was a knock that could only be achieved by either years of ointment treatment or a lifetime of rodent fist fucking. It quite reminded Naruto of his humble home back in Pennsylvania where he would spend his days frolicking in the sun and being molested by the local preachers.

"Come on in" Naruto yelled, and much to his surprise a voice answered "If I know what you mean". It was just the kind of humour that before had the unfortunate side effect of making Naruto ROCK HARD, but thanks to years of comprehensive mental and physical training now left him soft and small like a baby's nose. "I bet you do" Naruto whispered under his breath upon realising that the figure that had emerged from the doorway was none other than the megastud Sasuke.

Sasuke had been teasing Naruto for quite a while, sending him naked pictures of himself covered in squirrels (Naruto's favourite animal) and subtly hinting at the fact that he knew Naruto wanted his extra spicy man salami.

"So listen about that kiss, I know were both semi adult Japanese cartoon characters and therefore fall in to the category of "Anime characters that should be gay but darn it just aren't, so Ill make them suck wieners" so I understand if you don't really want to share your man meat—" At this point in Sasuke had swiftly stripped down to nothing more than what the ninja gods had given him. The light softly played it's devilish game, highlighting every inch of the mangod that stood before him, making Sasuke such an irresistible piece of meat it stopped Naruto clear in his tracks."DO YOU RIKE IT?" Sasuke stuttered with a horrible Japanese accent. "IT'S SUPA GOOD GREAT PRICE!" he continued meanwhile Narutos erection grew to Washington monument ranges of ROCK HARD.

Naruto whipped out his manwhip and Sasuke started to stroke his. It was finally time for closure, all those years of teasing had come to a screeching, fiery, halt which was sure to leave both parties satisfied. As Sasuke assumed "the position" he whispered softly "DO IT RIKE IM A DOG". This made Naruto laugh, for he knew from his vast experience as a Pennsylvanian male sex phenomenon that Sasuke meant doggy style. As Naruto readied his assault on Sasuke's meat pie of pleasure he took one last second to enjoy the time when all this had seemed like an unachievable dream. He felt as though this was almost an end of an era. A single tear almost fell from his moist eyes but in his heart of hearts he knew that he had to spare every single drop of bodily fluid for what was to come.

He had waited long enough, and plunged his throbbing meat stick and stirred up Sasuke like a disobedient can of delicious onion soup. He threw himself on to him, resulting in a heated scream "YES THAT RITE!". The horrible accent would've bothered any other human being on this earth but not Naruto, for he had found himself a man so near to perfection as to count as the 8th wonder of the world. The man he was, as if made of the purest chocolate, full of satisfaction. Having anal sex with this being scratched an itch somewhere deep within him and left him wanting more with each dip of the devil's salsa.

Each plunge in to deeper depths resulted in a higher and higher pitched scream of " YES" "THAT GOOD" and "OO YOU SO HOORNYY". In the midst of it all Naruto heard a peculiar sound, like that of a seven month old Labrador puppy squelching in pain ."Woof!" it said, and Naruto almost stopped doing that which brought him pure pleasure. After blowing like, the hugest load Naruto noticed that his bed was full of dog hair. He wondered for a bit, and barfed a little in his mouth after the horrid realisation of what had just taken place. The soft knock on the door was just a poor young puppy looking for a home, poking each door shaped thing with his wet nose. The alluring calls random noiced from a four legged kindred spirit. The passionate kisses a dog looking for comfort in partner of equal value. The horrid Japanese accent the muffled screams of pain induced by a 1/3 inch penis repeatedly plunging in to the nostril. This realisation was too much for Naruto, leaving his psyche a scrambled mess. The only thing he could muster himself to do was to just sit there. Just sit and watch the sunset. Sit, ponder and feel ashamed.

The next morning the local ninja police found a single note on the living room table, folded twice and covered in blood. Inside the folded note read the words "Shit nigga I'm out. I might be messed up but I ain't fucking no dog twice. Peace, - MC NARUTO" The body was covered in a pool of it's on excretions and buried in silence the next morning. Above the grave stands a single sign saying "here lies a sick motherfucker, keep your dogs away!"

THE END

Reviews:

10/10 "helped my troubled marriage"

9/10 "omg same happened to me!"

7/10 "not enough sex"

10/10 "perfect."


	2. Chapter 2

The homoerotic adventures of a single ninja part 22: electric swings of electric fire

It was a tradegy that struck everyone in Konoha. A beloved sex phenomenom had taken his own life. Witnesses were few and in high demand. Rumors began to spread about a mysterious dog leaving the scene of the crime with what appeared to be semen on it's nose. The police were at a standstill and the media had been fed with the biggest story since the gay orgies of Konoha high reached the national press. "Penssylvanian found dead", "Pennsylvania? more like penis in dog nose-vania" the headlines read. But in the small, dark and admittedly slow mind of a konohan ninja thoughts lingered. Thoughts of long lost love and disgusting canine love affairs. Questions about the motives of the so called mystery dog and a deep yearning for deep dish pizza. This ninja was known to all as Sasuke the chinaman, made famous by his ridiculous accent and velvet red pubic hair.

"IS NOTTO SO GOODO TO BE KILLED BY A DOGGO!" sasuke said in a loud voice. "I thought he hung himself" said the barkeep, pouring another glass of nonalcoholic, non beer beer called water. "NO IT IS NOTTO SO!" the bar erupting in laughter at the hilarious pronunciations of the young eager ninja. "I WILL GET TO THE BOTTOMO OF THISSO!" . The laughter, meant as pure mock only served to fuel Sasukes motivation as he exited the bar.

Walking down the cold konoha streets he felt as though a figure was following him in the shadows. Behind every thrash can there seemed to be prying eyes ready to absorb the slightest rumor and spread it around like a bottle of beer at the junior disco. Sasuke sped up his horribly slow pace and made the two mile trip in the record time of 2:43:54;84. Upon his arrival he noted dog footprints leading up to the apartment. A strong chill went down Sasukes spine forcing him to ready his weapon (his penis). Sasuke walked up to his door, fully ready to whip his dick out and whack the killer dog. This, as it turned out was completely unnecessary and only served to burn like 3 calories.

Realizing that he was in no danger he slowly lowered his penis and entered. Inside he found that his room was searched thoroughly and that his male porn mags were missing. He stood for a bit, holding back his tears and collecting himself. Suddenly a loud crash was heard in the alley. Sasuke rushed out and found a family of raccoons having anal sex. He laughed for a bit, thought about joining in on the fun but left the vile beasts alone. He made his way back to the room without order and discovered a bloody paw print with the message " I know who you are! Fuckface!" written in red. Sasuke hastily called the police but there were no clear marks of breaking and entering and the cops were forced to write this out as the crazy happenings of a Chinese Japanese ninjaboy. Sasuke, not contempt with the explanation, decided to find out who or what was behind these strange happenings.

Will Sasuke ever find what he is looking for? Will his super weird accent ever go away? Is this series ever going to be taken seriously by anyone?

These questions remain to be answered in the next installment of the homoerotic adventures of gay ninjas. Stay tuned.


End file.
